


avoid the problem

by chaoticautumn



Category: South Park
Genre: Love Confessions, M/M, craigs there for like a second, i really don't know what to tag this uh, kyles unintentionally a dick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2019-01-20
Packaged: 2019-09-27 14:06:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17163350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chaoticautumn/pseuds/chaoticautumn
Summary: Eric slowed his pace down significantly as he got closer, nerves taking hold of his mind. Fuck, he couldn’t go through with this. Kyle would reject him instantly and probably tell the whole fucking town that Eric Cartman, the town asshole, was gay. He’d be ridiculed for the rest of his life.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Cartman's POV  
> he calls himself eric but when others are focused on him it's cartman ?? listen i'm trying to figure it out

Eric’s gaze locked onto the redhead across the room as he downed his drink. Kyle hadn’t noticed him yet, thank God, but Eric had caught sight of him the second he walked into the party. He’d been slipping out of rooms conveniently as soon as Kyle walked in. Unfortunately, a large group of people was blocking the exit Kyle wasn’t near, so Eric was effectively trapped.

He sighed as he set down the now empty plastic cup on the counter, tearing his gaze from Kyle, and turned to figure out how to leave the room. And slammed directly into someone.

 _“OW!_ Watch where you’re fucking going, asshole!” Cartman snarled, partially muffled by his hands holding his now in pain nose.

Kenny raised his eyebrows in disbelief, completely disregarding Eric’s angry shout. “Cartman?! Dude, what the hell are you doing here?”

Eric unintentionally glanced at Kyle, who somehow hadn’t noticed the sharp yell, and Kenny followed his gaze. His expression softened when he realized who Eric was looking at and he turned back to the brunette. “You can’t keep avoiding him forever, you know.”

Eric waved him off, ignoring the light blush spreading across his cheeks. “Why the fuck do you think I’m here?”

Ever since Eric had finally realized his crush, he’d been avoiding the cause of it like the plague. He’d been keeping it as a secret for months now, and didn’t plan on telling anybody about it. He’d only told Kenny after the blond had him cornered in his own room, and Kenny had managed to comfort him throughout the entire night. Kenny ended up telling him keeping his emotions pent up like he was would just end badly for everyone involved, and told him that confessing to Kyle would give him some form of relief. Eric reluctantly agreed to talk to Kyle, but hadn’t had the courage to yet. He’d been stuck in a loop of trying to walk up to Kyle, losing his confidence and scampering away. 

Who knew how Kyle would respond to the resident Nazi finally speaking to him after almost ten months and telling him he was in love with him.

And so here he was, trying to build up enough courage to just approach the fiery ginger.

Kenny sighed and nudged his shoulder. “Dude, you might as well get it over with. The longer you wait and stare at him, the weirder it’ll be.”

Eric groaned and pointed in the general direction of alcohol. “Give me another drink first.”

Kenny mockingly narrowed his eyes at Eric as he moved to walk around the bigger boy. “You’re lucky I came here for a refill.”

Eric glanced back over at the ever oblivious Kyle. He was conversing with Stan and Craig over something, although Craig seemed to be very checked out of the conversation. But that could just be his face. Stan seemed to be the most talkative out of them, which wasn’t really that surprising. He got chatty when he was drunk.

Eric was so caught up in studying the three, he didn’t notice Kenny sauntering up behind him. He jumped when the blond poked his shoulder, then scowled at him. “Don’t do that, you dick.”

Kenny shrugged and took a sip of his drink. “You ready to go talk to him yet?”

“Not yet. But.” Cartman took his drink from Kenny’s hand and downed it in one go, then crushed the plastic against the counter. “Let’s go fucking do it anyway.”

Kenny shot him a reassuring grin as Eric briskly walked towards Kyle, staying to make sure Eric actually went through with it.

Eric slowed his pace down significantly as he got closer, nerves taking hold of his mind. Fuck, he couldn’t go through with this. Kyle would reject him instantly and probably tell the whole fucking town that Eric Cartman, the town asshole, was gay. He’d be ridiculed for the rest of his life. Eric cast a hesitant glance back at Kenny, who gave him a thumbs up and nodded in Kyle’s direction. That, strangely enough, was the boost Eric needed to keep going.

Craig had wandered off in the time it took for Cartman to try to approach Kyle, and Stan thankfully hadn’t noticed the brunette, still talking animatedly about something. Eric puffed up his chest in a mask of confidence and forced himself to advance towards the two.

He awkwardly cleared his throat from behind them to catch their attention. Stan finally seemed to notice he was there and openly stared, slack-jawed. Kyle turned to see who it was, irritation flashing through his eyes, but stopped when he was greeted by the sight of Cartman.

Eric slightly recoiled at the two’s blank stares and raised his hand in a small wave. “Uh- hey.”

Kyle appeared to snap out of his stupor as soon as Cartman spoke and crossed his arms, his sharp eyes transfixed on the brunette. “What the fuck are you doing?”

A lump appeared in his throat at the hostility in Kyle’s voice, and he had to bite back an insult. “Can I talk to you?” 

This really wasn’t a good idea, but it was near impossible to back out now. 

Kyle’s hip jutted out to the side and he raised an eyebrow. God _damn,_ almost no guy Eric knew could pull off such feminine pose and still look good. “So. Talk.”

Eric glanced around the party uneasily until his focus settled on Stan, who had managed to close his mouth but was still staring at Cartman, confusion dancing in his ocean eyes. “Preferably in private.”

Kyle snorted. “Why should I be in a private place with you?” He had a point. Cartman really wasn’t the most trustworthy when alone with someone he was known to hate.

“Kyle, please. This is really important,” Eric implored, his eyes searching across Kyle’s face for something - he didn’t know what.

The ginger faltered at the plead, then sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. Must’ve picked it up from Stan. “Fine. Lead the way.” Kyle felt an impending sense of dread in agreeing to this, but he tossed the feeling aside. Anything involving Cartman made him cautious.

Stan grabbed his arm as he walked by, effectively stopping him. “Dude, are you- are you sure about this? I mean this is Cartman we’re talking about,” he attempted to whisper, but Kyle knew Eric could hear him from the wince.

Kyle shot his super best friend a smile. “It’s cool, dude. I can handle him,” he replied, tugging his arm away from Stan’s grasp, and followed Cartman upstairs.

Eric briskly walked by a few doors, and opened one that was fortunately unoccupied. He motioned for Kyle to enter, then followed suit, closing the door with a soft _click._ Eric hesitated before locking the door; he knew the action was suspicious and set Kyle on guard, but he really didn’t need someone barging in.

He turned to the redhead sitting awkwardly on the edge of the bed, but quickly averted his gaze to the floor. Eric silently sat next to Kyle, whose questioning gaze was burning into him, but he refused to look up and meet it.

After what felt like an eternity of silence between the two, Kyle coughed uneasily. “So. What was it you wanted to talk to me about after almost a year of ignoring me?”

Eric cast a quick glance to Kyle, and almost instantly regretted it, feeling his body heat up in embarrassment. “I- uh… Listen- I have…” Eric started stumbling over his words, trying to figure out the best way to approach this. He sighed and started toying with the bed sheets in a hand.

Kyle’s mouth twisted into an annoyed grimace. “Just spit it out, fatass.”

“I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU!” Cartman abruptly yelled, surprising them both. Smooth. Real fucking smooth, Eric.

Kyle’s eyes widened and he turned to stare at Cartman in disbelief. After an unbearable second of silence, he got his voice to work, his mouth curling into an uneasy smile. He couldn’t have been telling the truth. “Are you fucking serious?”

Eric winced and could feel his face burning in embarrassment at Kyle’s reaction.

“You come back after almost a fucking year and tell me you’re in love with me? Do you seriously think I’d fall for that?!” Kyle barked out a laugh, causing Eric to curl into himself. He’d expected this, but no matter how many walls he put up, it still felt like a vicious stab to his heart.

Kyle’s fits of giggles had erupted into roars of laughter, clutching at his sides as tears streamed down his face. He’d practically fallen from the bed and was rolling on the floor. Eric watched him wordlessly, his face going completely blank as he looked on. The knife in his heart twisted with every laugh, but he forced his expression to stay neutral. He stood after a few minutes, stalking away from the redhead and reaching for the door knob.

“Wh- Cartman, hold on,” Kyle called after him, coughing a bit as he tried to calm down his erratic breathing. 

Eric didn’t listen.

Thoughts were swirling around his head as he walked through the party, snarling and growling and enveloping him, telling him how much of a fucking idiot he was, he didn’t deserve Kyle, he didn’t deserve to be happy. He brushed past people without even so much as a look up if he bumped into them. Stan attempted to stop him, to probably ask where Kyle was or what happened, but the dead look in Cartman’s eyes stalled the raven haired boy long enough for Cartman to push past him and leave the house.

Kenny was wrong. Instead of relief, it just made everything worse.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took a hot second i kinda lost the plot for a while n had to go back n fix things  
> also sorry if it makes,, zero sense i'm not used to writing shit like this

_“I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU!”_

As soon as Cartman had uttered those six words, Kyle’s brain had short-circuited, then set into hyperdrive. There was no fucking way he was telling the truth. Kyle laughed at him, laughed at the idea Cartman would even begin to like him. He’d hated Kyle all his life. It was probably part of some elaborate scheme of his.

But when the look of sheer pain had flashed across Cartman’s face, Kyle knew he fucked up.

It had been almost a month since he’d seen Cartman, since _anybody_ had seen Cartman. It was like he never existed. The only things that showed he wasn’t just a figment of Kyle’s imagination were the old rare messages between him and Kyle and the occasional call of his name by a substitute teacher.

Kyle was jolted out of his train of thought by the presence he realized was now next to him and looked away from Cartman’s empty seat across from him.

Stan sighed as he took his place next to Kyle. “Still hung up over Cartman missing, huh? I thought you’d be happy he was gone again, dude.”

“Cartman doesn’t just appear for one night after almost a year then disappear again like he never existed. Something’s wrong,” Kyle replied, poking down at the kosher meal his mother prepared for him. He kept telling her it was okay and he could make his own food, but still she persisted.

“What even happened between you two? He drags you upstairs, then walks back downstairs alone looking like whatever was left of him was just torn apart and leaves,” Stan asked as he took a bite of food, not noticing Kyle’s wince.

“I… I really don’t want to talk about it.” Kyle glanced over at Stan apologetically.

“Yea, dude, it’s better to leave this untouched,” Kenny cut in as he slid into the seat next to Cartman’s. “Just trust me on this. I didn’t and look where it got us.”

Stan glanced between his two friends then shrugged and turned his attention back to his phone. “Good luck with whatever it is, I guess.”

Kyle gave Kenny a surprised look. “What? What did you do?”

Kenny leaned closer to the redhead, glancing over at Stan momentarily to make sure he wasn’t listening, which he wasn’t. “Who do you think pushed him to tell you?” His bright blue eyes hardened as he hissed, “What I didn’t expect was for you to fucking laugh in his face.”

Kyle shifted away from the blond uneasily. It was rare for Kenny to be angry, but he sure as hell didn’t seem to be pleased with Kyle. “How do you know about that?”

Kenny sat back, his sharp eyes trained on Kyle. “Oh, he told me aalll about that.” 

Kyle grimaced. The turn this conversation was taking was not one he wanted to go down. “Do you know how I can get to him?”

Kenny shrugged, taking a sip from the milk carton he’d bought. “My advice? Go to him. He’s not going to willingly talk to you any time soon.”

Kyle had made up his mind. He pushed himself up from the cafeteria table and briskly walked towards the doors, only stopping when Kenny forcefully grabbed his jacket.

“Don’t fuck this up again, dude. He won’t open up to you like he did last time,” the blond muttered under his breath. Kyle stared down at him with wide eyes and nodded, and Kenny let him go, though his gaze still bore into Kyle’s back.

Kyle felt a chill go down his spine as he left the school and made his way to Cartman’s house. Angry Kenny was not a sight he wanted to see again.

\--

In front of the Cartman’s front door, Kyle hesitated. He had zero ideas on what to actually say to the brunette after not seeing him for almost a month. Words usually were a natural flow for Kyle, but that flow seemed to have stopped.

The redhead shook himself off and pounded on the front door with a fist, hoping Cartman was actually home. He heard a thump come from inside the house and subconsciously grinned to himself.

 _“Motherfucker-_ NOBODY’S HOME!” He heard Cartman shout from what was probably the living room.

Okay. So Kyle had a choice to make. Leave, break down the door, or knock again. He opted for the latter, knocking again. “Open the fucking door, fatass,” he whispered to himself. He knew if Cartman realized it was Kyle outside, he wouldn’t open up.

The door swung open just as Kyle was about to knock again. “God fucking damn, what is- Oh.” Cartman stopped as soon as he recognized Kyle’s signature green hat, and the anger drained from his face.

He honestly looked terrible. He was dressed in a gray sweatshirt and baggy sweatpants, and his hair was a lot messier than it ever had been. There were significant bags under his eyes, like he hadn’t slept well for a very long time. God, were those there the last time he saw him?

Cartman had begun to close the door, but Kyle’s hand stopped him from getting very far. He glared at the redhead blocking him from getting back to the safety of his house. “What the fuck do you want?” he spat. The ice that was his voice nearly caused Kyle to step back, but he held his ground.

“I just want to talk to you.” His green gaze searched around Cartman’s face for any sign of emotion, of giving in, of anything, but he found nothing.

“You haven’t tried to do that in a year. Why would you try now?” Cartman raised a disinterested eyebrow. It didn’t look like Kyle was going to be able to convince him of anything, but he continued to try anyway.

“Because last time I tried to talk to you, you walked away and disappeared for a month.”

“Yeah, after you fucking laughed in my face. Sorry if I’m not the most open person in the world after that.”

Kyle sighed and tilted his head back in frustration, staring up at the sky. “Fuck, okay. I’m sorry I did that. I just didn’t think that, after everything we’ve done to each other, you actually fucking liked me. I thought it was just some dumb joke of yours.”

“Shitty excuse,” Cartman muttered.

Kyle brought his glare back down to Cartman. “What? What do you want me to fucking say then?”

“Something that’s not a damn excuse.”

_“I’m not telling you fucking excuses, fatass!”_

Cartman’s dark eyes flared in a familiar anger, but the fire was extinguished seconds after. “I’m not doing this. Go home, Kyle.”

He tried to close the door again, and Kyle kicked it back open and forced his way past the larger boy into the house. “I’m not leaving until we talk, Cartman,” Kyle snarled, narrowing his eyes at Cartman.

“There’s nothing to talk about.” Cartman felt the burn of Kyle’s glare, felt the unbridled anger shifting just below the surface. But he couldn’t bring himself to provoke it. He wouldn’t be able to handle it.

Kyle seethed silently for a few seconds, but managed to force himself to calm down. He knew he didn’t have a good reason to be as angry as he was; unfortunately, the Broflovski Fury was one that came unexpectedly and wreaked havoc if let loose.

The reality of everything that had happened in the past month crashed down on him, forcing him to sit on the nearby couch and shove his face in his hands. He sighed after a few seconds and propped his head up on a hand, dropping the other one into his lap. His gaze flicked over to Cartman, but quickly shifted away to focus on something, anything else.

Kyle sighed, his mind whirring with thoughts and ideas on what to say to the brunette. After minutes of silence, he turned to Cartman, who was still standing by the now closed door and was watching Kyle with a strange expression. He opened his mouth to speak, but his voice faltered and he closed his mouth again.

Cartman quietly walked over to the couch and sat next to Kyle, giving him an unsure glance. “Look, I… You don’t have to say anything, Kyle. I get it.”

Kyle shook his head in frustration. “No, you clearly don’t. I laughed when you told me you… when you told me _that._ And I’m sorry.” Kyle could feel the blow to his pride, but didn’t care at the moment. He just wanted Cartman to hear him out.

Cartman groaned and crossed his arms. “No, you’re not. You just feel bad for yourself.” Kyle gave him a confused look and opened his mouth to question it, but Cartman continued before he could. “The town asshole has a fucking crush on you, oh no. What’s the golden boy going to do? Oh, I know! Apologize to said town asshole to feel better about himself.” Kyle faltered. Did Cartman really think that? Was he right? Cartman let out a humorless laugh. “Well, that pause says it all, Jew. Face it, I know you well enough to know what’s going through your mind right now.”

Kyle rose an eyebrow at him, irritation bubbling to the surface. “You really don’t.”

Cartman mirrored his expression, eyes momentarily glancing at him, then sat back and looked away again. “Sure I do. You’re wondering if I’m right. Which I always am.”

“You’re not always right, you just don’t like to admit you’re wrong.”

Cartman didn’t reply. Kyle sighed and shifted so his body was facing the brunette. “Listen, I didn’t come here just to say sorry for laughing. I…” He tore his gaze from Cartman and set his focus on the space between them, unease settling in his chest. Shit, this was a lot harder than it seemed. He never thought he’d be confessing to Cartman that he harbored some sort of feelings towards him, but then again, he didn’t expect to be told by Cartman that he was in love with the redhead.

Kyle didn’t know how to explain the feelings concerning Eric Cartman. There was always a spark in his chest when the two fought, a spark he didn’t get fighting with anyone else, even through childhood. He thought the spark was a deep hatred, but he realized later on that if it was hatred, he’d be making more of an effort to make the brunette stop bothering him. When Cartman started avoiding him, the spark had died out, leaving a residual mark where it had once been, and it stung. He’d thought about confronting the brunette before, but never got the chance, and soon the thought slipped from his mind. When Cartman had approached him at that party that seemed so long ago, a flood of relief washed through him that he couldn’t explain. And when Cartman confessed that, it felt like the world had stopped in it’s tracks. 

Cartman had taken off again instantly after, much to Kyle’s dismay, but thankfully it gave Kyle time to think. Was he serious? Did Kyle feel the same way? The rush that had jolted through the redheads' body was unexplainable, but definitely not negative. It kept Kyle up at night for at least a week, wondering what it was. He’d thought about asking Stan, or even Kenny, but he knew it’d betray Cartman’s trust if he told them what happened. (As it turns out, Kenny already knew, but he hadn’t known that at the time.) But since when did he care about Cartman’s trust? And since when Cartman occupy his mind so often?

That’s when it hit him. He’d always cared about maintaining Cartman’s trust in him, even throughout their endless battles. Cartman had always been on his mind, whether he liked it or not. 

He liked Cartman. No, not liked- _Loved._ Kyle was in love with Eric Cartman.

Kyle could feel Cartman’s eyes on him, burning through him and into his heart, and met his golden gaze. Seeing those eyes made everything 10x more difficult, but Cartman had to know he was being sincere. 

“I’m in love with you, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there _might_ be another chapter but i dunno i'm debating it


End file.
